Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize