where am i from again
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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