Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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