Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
