Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
