Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
