i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
