No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
