Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
