Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Holy sore nipples Batman
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
