i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
