will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
