Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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