I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
