There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
