My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
