I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
