My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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