if we break up, who will get the dealer?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
