Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The air taste purple.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
