This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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