Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
