fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
