first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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