i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
