So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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