you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
time to smoke my breakfast
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize