Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
