do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
