He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
