There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
