All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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