IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
