she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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