i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize