Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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