just come out here and I will go home with you...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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