when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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