So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
