she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
