I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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