I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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