it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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