Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
