Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
