When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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