Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
