Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
