I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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