I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
