You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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