4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
