I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
