it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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