saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
