He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
