It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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