I wanna passion pit in your ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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