I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize