My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
