Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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