Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
