one might say we're banned from that church
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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