escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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