seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize