Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
