naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
