Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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