I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
