glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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