He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
