it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
