Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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